Sometimes our lives seem ruled by “to-do’s”.

How will I ever get done
I can’t get to sleep early, I have a million things to do
I’m exhausted and the dishes arn’t done, the bills are not paid yet, and the laundry also needs folding

These are common thoughts and frustrations keeping us up at night, putting strain and stress on our relationships and depriving us from enjoying our lives. Compound any regular person’s responsibilities with the crippling inability to be efficient because you are so bogged down by the many things that need to get done, or by natural causes such as depression or other mental illnesses, and it is easy to understand why bills are past due and the laundry is piling up.

I found a study today on how children of depressed mothers are affected. The study interviewed adults who had lived or were living with a depressed parent.

Turns out, we kids are throught to be at increased risk of psychopathology and disturbed relationships.

Here is a link to the study, that’s it for today but tomorrow more will follow on this topic.

There are cases where depression is related to a sense of not having achieved what one wants to achieved, or acquired what one wants to acquire. Thus, for many people being depressed is related to a sense of failure. Whether “failure” preceded depression, or feelings of failure are a symptom of depression is like asking which one came first: the chicken or the egg. In this case, the answer is highly personal.

My mother is clinically depressed, and has been on and off for as long as I can remember. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was depressed before I was born, and she probably had PPD without even knowing it. Now we’re 20-some years ahead, and living with a depressed parent brings many challenges.

According to my therapist I’m not depressed, but I do think I am a “depression cameleon”; whenever my mother has a good day, I have a good day. When she has a bad day, mine couldn’t be worse. I suck up part of her sadness and internalize it, simply because I do not know how to built a shell to protect myself against these negative feelings.